Buddy is my 20 year old cat and as cats go, he's been a real source of comfort throughout these past 20 years.
Whenever I was sad he somehow knew it and would lay beside me as I let the tears flow. His purr was a soothing sound to my ears. His little tuxedo fur coat and beautiful green eyes always welcomed me home; along with his demanding "MEOWWW," that's cat lingo for glad your home now feed me!
So I've had a good twenty years of memories but today is extremely hard as I watch him slowly dying. His meow is raspy and anxious, not demanding but confused sounding. He mostly lays in the laundry room but today he has meandered to the kitchen. I assume to be closer to the sound of my voice. I've stopped to pet him and rub his little skeleton of a body; he still responds with a slight purr.
His appointment is at 4:40 today. I'll say goodbye, I'll miss you, and may your suffering not be in vain. I needed you here for just a little longer. Thank you for what you did for me.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Seasons of Life
August 2013, rainy in Wichita, garden growing...birthday celebrations, and celebrations of ones life.
Every month has so much going on. In that month what was the best thing? What was the worst? The best for me was all the birthday celebrations! Love the gathering of family and of friends! Just thinking back of the memories that were made makes me smile!
The worst, hearing that someone's parent died, that's the worst. The sadness I felt for the daughter, the pain rekindled of my own mom dying "young", and the reality that someday my own children will face this was just a bit overwhelming. I am by nature a happy person, positive thinking, and just plain cheerful mostly! So when sadness overwhelms me; I'm a mess! It happened this week.
To the daughter who has to bury her mom in the coming days I have a few things to encourage you:
Rely on those around you who want to help you through your grief.
Talk out loud to God, get it off your chest.
Cry.
Sleep.
Begin each new day with Psalms 23.
Lean into God not away.
Be faithful.
Each day gets better, really, it does.
Every month has so much going on. In that month what was the best thing? What was the worst? The best for me was all the birthday celebrations! Love the gathering of family and of friends! Just thinking back of the memories that were made makes me smile!
The worst, hearing that someone's parent died, that's the worst. The sadness I felt for the daughter, the pain rekindled of my own mom dying "young", and the reality that someday my own children will face this was just a bit overwhelming. I am by nature a happy person, positive thinking, and just plain cheerful mostly! So when sadness overwhelms me; I'm a mess! It happened this week.
To the daughter who has to bury her mom in the coming days I have a few things to encourage you:
Rely on those around you who want to help you through your grief.
Talk out loud to God, get it off your chest.
Cry.
Sleep.
Begin each new day with Psalms 23.
Lean into God not away.
Be faithful.
Each day gets better, really, it does.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Life is a gift, counting blessings not disappointments
July always is bittersweet for me. I thank God for another year of life on the 2nd and remember my moms death on the 9th. It's been 33 years since she's been gone but the details are still very clear in my head.
Despite my efforts to move about happily throughout this month, I have a veil of sadness.
Through my faith I start to remember all the blessings my life has endure not all the disappointments. My remarriage to Cord, my children and the kindness they share, the grand children, reconnections with family members, times with close friends, and new birth.
When I really sit quietly before my heavenly Father, my daddy, I can make a list way too long for this space, of all the wonderful things my life has been. (I need to do this more often!)
Don't misunderstand me, I've had lots of disappointments too, but what good purpose is there in dwelling on them? As I told a grand child the other day, I have to ask Jesus daily to fill my mind and heart with things that will make Him happy. I'm a work in progress even at 56!
Faith is a Big thing!
Despite my efforts to move about happily throughout this month, I have a veil of sadness.
Through my faith I start to remember all the blessings my life has endure not all the disappointments. My remarriage to Cord, my children and the kindness they share, the grand children, reconnections with family members, times with close friends, and new birth.
When I really sit quietly before my heavenly Father, my daddy, I can make a list way too long for this space, of all the wonderful things my life has been. (I need to do this more often!)
Don't misunderstand me, I've had lots of disappointments too, but what good purpose is there in dwelling on them? As I told a grand child the other day, I have to ask Jesus daily to fill my mind and heart with things that will make Him happy. I'm a work in progress even at 56!
Faith is a Big thing!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
People......
Everyday I become more aware of people and things around me that don't mesh with my walk. I struggle at times with saying what's on my mind, meaning I usually say what's on my mind instead of being quiet.
I've been working part time in a cute, little East side card and gift shop going on 4 months so I see lots of people. I generally trust people until they do something that takes that trust away. I am still amazed when I find that someone has taken something without paying. Not that I have ever caught them in the act but after the fact. People steal. They take from a hard working owner of a small business. I am just mortified that people do this to another person. I would like to imagine that had I caught them in the act I would take them aside and quietly ask them, "why?".
Another thing that seems to get to me is my neighborhood. Some days I am ready to pack it all up and move out to the country where I do not have to deal with neighbors! There are people in this neighborhood who let their children run through, trample on, and tear up other peoples' yards. I have an unwritten policy but verbalized to said children; that if children have played in my yard and left their toys in it then those toys are now mine. I have very nicely told said children to play in their own yards.
I share these things just to show you how real life I try to live my faith but also to show me where I can do better. To the shoplifter I want to know why they stole what they stole, do they need a job, can I hook them up with some resources in our community? To the neighbors I am constantly reminding myself, "you may be the only Jesus they ever see" so I am still working on this...daily.
I've been working part time in a cute, little East side card and gift shop going on 4 months so I see lots of people. I generally trust people until they do something that takes that trust away. I am still amazed when I find that someone has taken something without paying. Not that I have ever caught them in the act but after the fact. People steal. They take from a hard working owner of a small business. I am just mortified that people do this to another person. I would like to imagine that had I caught them in the act I would take them aside and quietly ask them, "why?".
Another thing that seems to get to me is my neighborhood. Some days I am ready to pack it all up and move out to the country where I do not have to deal with neighbors! There are people in this neighborhood who let their children run through, trample on, and tear up other peoples' yards. I have an unwritten policy but verbalized to said children; that if children have played in my yard and left their toys in it then those toys are now mine. I have very nicely told said children to play in their own yards.
I share these things just to show you how real life I try to live my faith but also to show me where I can do better. To the shoplifter I want to know why they stole what they stole, do they need a job, can I hook them up with some resources in our community? To the neighbors I am constantly reminding myself, "you may be the only Jesus they ever see" so I am still working on this...daily.
Friday, February 8, 2013
Slow Down, Mindy!
I have been sick for several days; caught the CCC-creepy coughing crud-so I have once again been forced to slow down my life...
I always am amazed at how I have to be physically stopped to slow down my life and this time I really didn't think my life was going all the fast. I mean, I only work less than 24 hours a week, so far this month I only went to one dinner party with a small group of my friends, watched the Super Bowl with friends, and went to only only grand child's birthday party...so far this month. But when I was laying in bed under several blankets and on my second box of Puffs I realized what I haven't been doing.
I wasn't working on my goals for 2013, which aren't too many but still I wasn't even trying to work on them! I had not worked out yet, and by working out I just mean in my home doing some stretches and aerobic type stuff! Nothing too strenuous! I hadn't written a hand-written letter to anyone; that is one of my goals this year, just a short note to say "Hi, I am thinking of you" note. So laying there in bed I composed a short note to a friend in Florida. I then attempted some stretching but even that wore me out so I will have to get back to that once my strength is renew!
I am not 100% yet but with the intervening of various prayers on my behalf from my family and friends, some awesome immune support tea, and rest...I am positive it won't be long now!
I always am amazed at how I have to be physically stopped to slow down my life and this time I really didn't think my life was going all the fast. I mean, I only work less than 24 hours a week, so far this month I only went to one dinner party with a small group of my friends, watched the Super Bowl with friends, and went to only only grand child's birthday party...so far this month. But when I was laying in bed under several blankets and on my second box of Puffs I realized what I haven't been doing.
I wasn't working on my goals for 2013, which aren't too many but still I wasn't even trying to work on them! I had not worked out yet, and by working out I just mean in my home doing some stretches and aerobic type stuff! Nothing too strenuous! I hadn't written a hand-written letter to anyone; that is one of my goals this year, just a short note to say "Hi, I am thinking of you" note. So laying there in bed I composed a short note to a friend in Florida. I then attempted some stretching but even that wore me out so I will have to get back to that once my strength is renew!
I am not 100% yet but with the intervening of various prayers on my behalf from my family and friends, some awesome immune support tea, and rest...I am positive it won't be long now!
Monday, January 7, 2013
Blessings and Thankfulness
A couple of years ago my daughter, Nicole Strain, gave me a little Blessings book. She put it together her self and included blank pages with titles. The titles include Blessings of Children, Blessings of Grand Children, Blessed by Love, Blessings of Home, Blessed through Seasons, Blessed in the Light, Blessings through the Darkness, Blessings of Growth, Blessings of New Life, and Blessed by Lives Lived. On each page I have recorded many things and I added a page for Prayer List.
As 2012 was coming to an end, I re-read some of the things I had written and realized just what a blessing this little book was to me! You can ask most anyone of my family members about my lack of retention! So writing down the little things that my life experienced last year brings smiles, cleansing tears, and thankfulness as I read each page.
In 2012 I celebrated another year of marriage, many birthday parties, and a new grand daughter. I ended a stressful position and began a new, fulfilling position! I grieved over sudden deaths and cried with those fighting for their lives. My prayer list grew. My faith became stronger. God was with me all the way.
Faith IS a big thing; without it I could not survive this world.
Now I am living in 2013 and wonder just what will I experience this year! I know what I want to experience and that is the continued grace of God. Amazing Grace! I know I want to be a better wife, a better mom and grandma. I want to really show love to others; meet them right where they are and in their need. Be a better friend. I want others to see Christ in me.
So that's what I want....it's all on the prayer list of my little blessings book!
"Grace is in the small things, if it is anywhere at all"
As 2012 was coming to an end, I re-read some of the things I had written and realized just what a blessing this little book was to me! You can ask most anyone of my family members about my lack of retention! So writing down the little things that my life experienced last year brings smiles, cleansing tears, and thankfulness as I read each page.
In 2012 I celebrated another year of marriage, many birthday parties, and a new grand daughter. I ended a stressful position and began a new, fulfilling position! I grieved over sudden deaths and cried with those fighting for their lives. My prayer list grew. My faith became stronger. God was with me all the way.
Faith IS a big thing; without it I could not survive this world.
Now I am living in 2013 and wonder just what will I experience this year! I know what I want to experience and that is the continued grace of God. Amazing Grace! I know I want to be a better wife, a better mom and grandma. I want to really show love to others; meet them right where they are and in their need. Be a better friend. I want others to see Christ in me.
So that's what I want....it's all on the prayer list of my little blessings book!
"Grace is in the small things, if it is anywhere at all"
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